Saturday, March 28, 2015

The Goal That's Set, is the Goal That's Met

The goal that's set is the goal that's met.  I'm not sure how many times my children have heard these words come from their mother, but I'm close to positive they secretly roll their eyes  saying under their breath that they know.  They know!  Of course the eye roll means nothing to me.  I'll say it anyway.  Repeating something is one of the benefits of being a mom, no matter how old the 'children' are.

These words ring true with any goal set, whether it be a conscious plan or a goal we are not aware of. 

A conscious plan is when we want to meet a goal.  Research is done, conversations take place (even if they are within yourself) and a load of thinking that threatens to  provide steam coming from our ears.  As an example:

A person wants to get out of debt.  The decision is made, the goal is set.  Researching the way to accomplish this comes first.  Should we tackle the smallest debts first, then snowball the rest of the debt?  Or perhaps tackle the debt with the highest interest when the journey begins?  The next step is talking about the benefits of each way then coming to the conclusion what will be more comfortable.  Finally the steam starts poring out from our ears because we have thought about how to meet the goal until a bath and a glass of wine sound pretty good.

An unconscious goal can come under the heading of foolish behavior.  Most young people can exhibit foolish behavior.  It's what they do.  No one starting out in life is wise.   Wisdom is obtained through experience.  Even if we were taught the right path, our wings have to soar and we have to make mistakes.  Mistakes are made once and we learn from them.  Maybe twice with a reprimand from ourselves to ourselves and a decision to end the behavior.  It's all part of growing and maturing.

When a mistake becomes a habit, then the goal has been set.  This type of goal usually has a negative effect on a person and those around them.  An example of this goal could be as simple as keeping a home environment that is unhealthy.

There are days, now and then, when we will wake up and all we can do is walk through the day like a zombie.  Everyone has those days.  To walk like a zombie everyday and not care about a healthy or clean environment  is a habit that turns into the goal met.  One day we wake up and dislike what life has become wondering how it got this way.  The cycle begins, then defeat sets in. 

The ideal path would be not to fall into the trap.  Life, however, often times is not ideal.  As a matter of fact, life seldom exhibits ideal situations.  I can't say how many times I've fallen on my face only to have to pick myself up and move on.  Moving on wasn't always easy, but my main goal was to learn to be content in any situation.   Somehow I figured out that was one of life's little hidden truths.  Looking for the best even when the sky is falling in.

I can tell you the things I did to improve life and mental health, if it will be helpful.  (This is where I wish I were gifted with words of magic.)

The most important thing I ever discovered was the power of prayer.  For everything.  When I was overwhelmed with four kids, I prayed and thanked God for the children.  When my husband was young and came home from work only to deposit his socks on the bedroom floor, I prayed and offered up my anger to heaven.  That sounds strange, but I figured it was the only place that a negative thing could be turned into a positive.  When our son wanted to go out on his own (I knew he wasn't ready) I  gave up worrying and gave him to God.  God was the only one who knew my anguish.  God was the only one who could help me.

I made myself, with a prayer, keep our home clean and healthy.  Especially when our son had cancer.  I would wash every surface every morning with a disinfectant.  I did this out of love for my family.  Were there days I slacked?  I had to, but the important things got done every day.  For someone else there may be other weaknesses they don't want to be turned into habits, then goals.  Pick anything and seek the path to turn the habit into a positive goal taking one step at a time.

Being honest is the first step.  There's no need to be honest with anyone else, just yourself.  List turn around goals on paper and hide the note.  Work on one thing at a time and be kind.  After all, we are  works in progress.  Patience is the answer here.  Time can't be stopped, so we can make  goals to use time to our benefit.  Taking small breaks from a goal is also healthy, if they are short breaks.  Before you know it, life will be something that is living, not something to wonder about.

Disclaimer:  Please know I'm not in the business of judging or preaching.  My own imperfections often rise to the surface.  The goal is simply to assist those who seek a positive path.  After all, I don't want my 66 years on earth to be wasted!  (I can't believe I'm 66.  My mind feels 20!)


  1. Your thoughts and conclusions are noteworthy. Just one point: It is my definite view that bringing up children, raising them and making them fit for an autonomous life is one of the most demanding tasks. Parents want to give their best knowing they cannot "entail" their own experiences on their children. So it can sometimes be bitter and painful to see their children making wrong
    decicions which they will regret later on. It is so important to be thankful for all the good things and never forget this.

  2. Your point is well taken. Thank you for reading and commenting.